CIVIL SERVICE SPOOKED

+++ UPDATE 19:00 - Why has our website just gone down and taken the donations widget with it? Mandelsooooon! +++

Last Thursday/Friday we learned that our semi-elected dictatorship is instructing EU diplomats to be distinctly undiplomatic with the BNP. But our "Inner-Kremlin" at LPUK have also been keeping an eye on the proceedings at "Civil Service Live", their second annual conference / opportunity-to-conspire-against-their-paymasters. Here's a wee excerpt from their blog (my emphasis below):

Civil servants are not noted for their tempestuous characters or tendency to fly off the handle, but there is a real streak of anger at this year’s Civil Service Live. Expressed in diplomatic terms in many instances – and in surprisingly intemperate language in others – delegates and speakers alike have been voicing their irritation with the frequent changes in machinery of government that have attended ministerial reshuffles in recent years. [...] my ear has been bent on the topic of machinery of government changes several times each day[...] I get quite irritated by the idea that you can solve the problem by moving things around and changing the labels on things,” said Guardian journalist David Hencke (pictured) in a session on Tuesday. It is no exaggeration to say that he was speaking for the vast majority of the civil service.

"changing the labels on things", we can all empathise here I think: compulsory is the new voluntary, debt-spending is now investment, fascism is freedom etc; but I jest...

The Civil Service of course - apart from the very visible chaps and chapesses running your local Job Centre (who incidentally have recently been forced to merge with the Samaritans) - includes a number of rather more influential bigwigs, such as Gus O'Donnell:

We are politically impartial and our actions are governed by the Civil Service Code. Political impartiality means we must serve the Government, whatever its political persuasion, to the best of our ability, no matter what are own political beliefs. To quote from the Code, this means acting “in a way which deserves and retains the confidence of Ministers, while at the same time ensuring that you will be able to establish the same relationship with those whom you may be required to serve in some future government.”
[...]
Adherence to these values has served the Civil Service well, ever since they were proposed by Northcote and Trevelyan over 150 years ago. I believe they are crucial to the ability of the Civil Service to serve effectively whatever government is elected by the British people.

This goes some way to explaining why the government likes to create quangos and fake charities to do its entirely partisan dirty work. But they can't have a quango for everything; they'd just never get away with it; so, when, say - our psychotic unelected Prime Minister - needs to crack down on a Labour Party splinter group, he still has to bend arms.

There is an upside to Labour's total lack of scruples, however... It's now perfectly legal for us at LPUK to wire-tap the private conversations of the attendees at Civil Service Live... We're new to this, but we've just-about managed to discern these tidbits for you:

...I mean how many more data disks are there to deli------ly lose... well you said l---ing their expense data would start an outright revolt, all we got was a couple of angry episodes of Question Time... no, the Queen won't authorise that until Br--n is actually sectioned, and he'll never volunteer for an assessment... no - you're kidding - if anything he's more... look, if you leak that it'll be CO19 they call this time... YES! M-----son would happily order them into PMQs, he hates Green... he would, you know what he's like...

If anyone out there can decipher any meaning from the above at all, please contact us at LPUK: 0845 299 7650. Thank you.