That's nice dear.

Chloe Smith, the Norwich North Conservative clone-didate likes to boast of her work in the community. Today she reports on her spirit-crushing "blog".

(No link, for some reason her blog doesn't allow permalinks. I wonder why?) But here goes :

Today I went with Shadow Health Secretary Andrew Lansley and Shadow Health Minister Mark Simmonds to the visit Hellesdon Hospital. As part of the Norfolk and Waveney Mental Health Trust, it actually serves pretty much the whole county and it’s a great – but often unsung – facility to have in the constituency.

We were shown round their new high-security psychiatric unit and we talked with senior clinicians at the hospital about how mental health is often seen as the 'cinderella service' of the NHS and how it really needs a more central role in our health service.

Later I went back out on the doorstep to talk to people and listen to their concerns. It's important to me to get out and knock on doors every day to talk to people about local and national issues, and to explain how voting Conservative in the by-election on 23 July will help bring about the changes we so desperately need.

Gosh!!! I need a change of underwear! It's all go, non-stop for Chloe! But in case you nodded off, let me concatenate that for you:

I went to a hospital and wasted the time of a senior clinician so I can say I've actually stepped foot in a hospital (and later declare myself an expert) and then I went round the houses bothering people with my blandness to "listen to their concerns" which we tories will disregard the moment we get our mits on the levers of power. The few of them left that is.

Not a hint of an opinion. Not a policy, not an ambition for the service. Nothing that might provoke intrigue, debate or controversy. Nothing that distinguishes her from the tory PR machine. Substance need not apply. But it would be unfair to judge on the strength of one blog post. So here's another. (Stay with me, I know she is tedious, but there is a point)

Today we've been sweltering at the Royal Norfolk Show! The whole county seemed to be there and it’s always an enjoyable event to return to – I remember going there by coach when I was a child at primary school, and many times since. What’s so good about it is to see the variety of organisations there who make up our life here in Norfolk – voluntary, charitable, agricultural, commercial and military. I met Nick Herbert – the Shadow Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Secretary – there and we toured a number of stalls to meet people involved in organisations from all over Norfolk.

Well there goes another pair of shorts.

Away from the show, there was a front-page story on the EDP today, which has become big news locally, about Gordon Brown saying he’s not coming up to Norwich during the by-election. It would be a crying shame if that’s the case – people here have some real concerns to raise with him about the economy and about cleaning up politics, and he shouldn’t run away from them.

And if this airheaded non-entity can remember back to the last big by-election, Mr Brown (I believe) was criticized for breaking the convention that PM's do not bother the local electorate during by-elections. She continues, gawd help us:

Later on I’m heading down to the railway station to chat to commuters about the future of National Express after the Government’s announcement today. The rail service from Norwich has been brought up as a local issue time and time again over the last 18 months and it’s another area where I’m keen to see improvements.

Aren't we all. But here's the thing... you as a prospective politician are supposed to tell us what those improvements are to be and how you will attempt it. That way we can tell if it's worth bothering to vote for you. I don't think I can face the tedium of fisking another post. But her website boasts that:

It's a year and a half since local people picked Chloe Smith to be the Conservative candidate for Norwich North. In that time, she's met hundreds of local people and gained a reputation for being a hardworking, energetic local campaigner.

She's a Norfolk girl through and through - she grew up in Norfolk and is a governor of her old comprehensive school in Swaffham. Chloe now works for a leading international firm which advises private businesses, government departments and public bodies.

Her career so far has given her experience working on Whitehall, in the City, and with not-for-profit organisations.

So in all probability she's another one of those junior corporate wonks who works for a pseudo-private sector consultancy, inextricably attached to public funds, which wouldn't exist otherwise. She has probably never worked in a business that has a profit based on its own competitive merit; only on its' fiscal ability to comply with regulatory and contractual standards. Yes I know thats an assumption but what else are we to infer from such a bland website? They won't allow us to examine the details so assumptions must stand.

Is this SERIOUSLY what we're getting for MP's? I think I preferred a house full of crooks with their hands in the till. At least they had opinions. But instead we will have a house full of vapid, substanceless, careerist clones like our little Chloe who have in fact accomplished nothing. Ones who have never put a foot wrong so as to woo a local Conservative Association made up of old farts with similarly insulated backgrounds, who either adore Cameron or don't have the balls to call him out as the weedy media spiv that he really is. And all because he might bring the Tories to power.

But why bother? They haven't the first clue what they will do when they get it. What was it James Delingpole called them? That's right... "a bunch of neo-Blairite water-treaders who won’t do anything to undo any of the damage wreaked by New Labour". Nuff said really.

Daddy must be proud though.