Too cynical?

"Norfolk couple turning back the clock for war-time wedding"

The bride and groom arrived in the back of a 1942 troop carrier, with anti-aircraft guns behind them. They made their promises in front of a congregation dressed in 1940s clothing, in the chapel where 65 years ago many American airmen would have said their prayers and took communion before departing on their last missions.

Shortly after authorities were alerted, bomb disposal units were dispatched from nearby RAF Marham and the couple were arrested under the Dangerous Firearms Act 2007. Social services were also dispatched immediately with a court order to take all children present into care.

"We are shocked and appalled by this disgusting display of militarism" said Kaley Toynbee of Sustainable Child Protection Services. "We find it wholly inappropriate that children should be exposed to these horrors by these dangerous extremists and appropriate measures have been taken to ensure the parents are never allowed contact with children again. They will go on a permanent register of potential child abusers, their DNA has been recorded and have been fitted with RFID monitors." Their employers have been notified.

Roger Chapman, a council spokesman for Norwich, was grilled last night as to how such an event was given the go ahead. "We didn't see any harm in it. The psychometric profiling of the couple was approved, albeit narrowly, by the Central Civic Partnership Approvals & Licencing Authority, well within the 36 weeks notice period, and we thought it would be a fun and educational day out for the kids and an excellent way to remember those who gave our lives to defend our freedom." he said. Roger Chapman has been suspended without pay pending a full enquiry. Should his guilty verdict fail to be overturned at the initial trial he will be sent to a re-education facility at HMP Rampton where few are ever seen again.

The classic military vehicles in attendance have been confiscated and are due to be crushed pending a road tax evasion enquiry and their owners will be jailed. The couple in question will be released to a local psychiatric hospital where they will be treated with the latest experimental ECT therapy.

Well no. That didn't happen. But the satire of today is the headlines of tomorrow. We extend our congratulations to the happy couple.