We have ways of making you safe.

We have found the source of yesterdays somewhat enigmatic poll in the Norwich Evening News. As it happens, killer penguins are not the problem, nor do pensioners need bolt on armour. But they are "at risk".

While we would share their concern for our elderly, Norwich isn't exactly LA South Central, nor is there justification for busy-body snooping by councils and charities. But that doesn't stop them. Dan Grimmer explains:

Members of Norfolk County Council's fire and community protection overview and scrutiny panel are next week set to agree to investigate community safety issues and their relevance to elderly people in the county.

They plan to examine the susceptibility of elderly people to a string of crimes, ranging from violent crimes such as assaults and robberies to anti-social behaviour such as intimidating trick and treaters at Halloween.

Guess who's paying for that! It is our view, as libertarians, that this kind of work is not the responsibility of government. It is the duty of the community and families to organise themselves, not least because government sucks at it, but because these working groups usually do nothing more than highlight inventive new ways of wasting your money, with nothing much beyond glossy brochures to show for it.

If there is a problem in this regard it is because government has created it. As social housing has gradually ghettoised the elderly, for the convenience of social services administration, we have stripped away the normal structures of a working community and the gradual encroachment of the state in the affairs of the family has done more to demolish the concept of individual responsibilty than any other force.

As we have allowed the state to assume much of the responsibility for the care of our elderly it has gradually worsened and as a result we have the very worst reputation for the care of our elderly than any other Western civilized nation. But if communities organised themselves, these people would quickly find they were out of work and so need to find ways of keeping busy at our expense...

The working group which will be set up will also explore crimes such as distraction burglaries and rogue traders, where criminals particularly target the elderly and frail.

Capitalising on the "terrible thing" syndrome, they will no doubt amplify the problems to convince you to part with more of your money. Not that they need to convince you. They just steal it anyway.

But it is not just crime which the study aims to investigate. Fire-related safety, covering the risk to elderly people from unsafe electrical products, carbon monoxide and lack of smoke detectors will also be explored. The group also intends to investigate the overarching issue of confidence and reassurance, establishing the extent to which elderly people are happy that the police and other local public services are dealing successfully with anti-social behaviour and crime where they live.

It doesn't matter if the police and public services are any good, just so long as elderly folk have "confidence" and if they do not we will "reassure" them.

“With elderly people we need to make closer links with social services. For example if someone is making an assessment for home care for an elderly person and realises they don't have a smoke detector, they make a note of that and inform the fire service.”

You will be protected whether you want protecting or not and we will report you if you do not! Now I don't know about anyone else, but I think I'm more at risk of heart failure and stress related illnesses from smoke detectors than I am from burning to death, since they go off when I happen to so much as cough or pop the toaster. I don't think I've ever lived in a single property where the smoke detector hasn't met with an abrupt end due to sudden impact with a heavy object because it won't shut up, even when the battery is removed.

I'm afraid that house fires and such are just one of those things we can file under "sh*t happens". But the Health & Safety Taliban can not allow you to make grown up decisions for yourself and you defacto become vulnerable the moment you get your bus pass.

“We are working up an idea of developing a risk assessment questionnaire so we can figure out who could be responding to their needs.”

Your behavior will be monitored and assessed and we must help you whether you ask to be helped or not. We are forced to ask, where does this stop? As Ian Parker Joseph, leader of LPUK, remarked to me earlier, "Do they suggest guards on every old persons door? Or herding them all off to 'secure' housing on ex RAF bases? This is just more of the politics of fear, let's scare everyone with a minor problem and pretend it a HUGE problem." And as ever, if the people live in fear, they will hand more power and more money to the government...

Barbara Norrice, 87, was one pensioner who did fall prey to a rogue trader who convinced her to pay for shoddy work at her home in the south-east of Norwich. She was preyed on by Michael Rourke, a conman who charmed the elderly woman and convinced her to believe he could help with jobs. After bodging the building of a brick wall and convincing Miss Norrice he had done a good job he then said he could transform her crumbling driveway for £4,000. Rourke marched her down to the nearest cash machine in October last year where she handed over £1,000 believing him to be trustworthy.

He then asked for another £500 which she gave him a cheque for but all he did for the cash was put patio sand along the cracks on the driveway. Fortunately, Rourke's callous scam was found out and in May the 42-year-old, of Mansfield Lane in Norwich, was sent to jail for 12 months after he appeared at Norwich Crown Court and admitted four counts of fraud by false representation.

Miss Norrice said: “I would willingly support anything that can be done to stop what happened to me from happening to other people.”

And therein lies your problem. This is not an every day occurrence. But if people think it is...